To begin this day’s update I shall first tell you a funny little story; here she goes. So I was out to eat at a fine little restaurant (where I ate a pizza with lil’ smokey’s, you know, those funny little snausages, ham, and hardboiled egg…I didn’t even request these toppings, it’s just what’s popular here I guess) and was chatting away with a fellow Loras grad and I began to take note of a discomforting presence in my nose, a bat in the cave if you will. I began to poke at it slightly and inconspicuously. Soon enough I realized that my efforts were futile and that it was embedded like a CNN reporter in Iraq. After a quick recon of the table top I noticed a real rarity here in Japan: napkins (this may sound odd, because it is…hardly any of the restaurants here give you napkins of any sort. But they do give you warm towels…which are quite nice). So I grabbed one of the free paper products occupying the corner of our cozy nook and answered the life long question of, “How do you make a napkin dance? You put a little boogie in it!” Ha. Really though I honked away in the napkin until I took care of the little nose insurgent with extreme prejudice and quite a bit of malice as well. Cultural note: Japanese people are really “into” cleanliness. This means that when they are sick they wear those little surgical masks in public. Needless to say I thought that I was about to have a lynch mob surround me and find the nearest bonsai over 6’5”. Boy oh boy was my face red! As soon as I opened my eyes after a resounding and pleasing blow I caught the glare of at least six or seven people’s eyes burning their Japanese hate rays deep into my soul. Okay, that was at least how I felt; but after a quick and honest, “すみません,” or “Sumimasen,” those that were previously staring at me were now laughing at me. I think that they caught onto the fact that I was not bringing the second coming of SARS, but was just in my own world and had forgotten that this place is a little uptight about germs…I am just glad that no body informed them of cooties.
Side story: last year when the SARS epidemic hit China this fine little country that I am temporarily calling home began to fear an invasion. Not the little commies themselves, just their disease. Then the poo hit the ceiling fan in the form of a visitor that later obtained the virus after returning home to the land of Mao. In order to secure the future of J-Pan the government decided that a purge must take place. Not to be confused with past atrocities or pending genocides. I am speaking strictly of germs that may have been left behind by the now is sick, but once was fine, tourist. They began at the airport and continued to visit each and every place that the man had visited; with determined and spectacular zeal. It was major news, or so those that were here tell me. Everyday there were headlines revealing where it was that the man had visited. For example, “Sources say he went to Universal Studios Japan, Cleaning Imminent!” or something like that…I wouldn’t know exactly as I was absent.
“So, what else is new?” you may be thinking. Well you have caught me on a good day, one in which I feel like writing about all of the things that I haven’t really informed you of. For example: have I told you about the bikes in this country? Whew, there are a lot. However I will not take you down the path of boring detail about such things. But I will give you a rough outline of such a boring topic. Here it goes: the bicycles here are all like my older sister’s old bike (yes the one that I used to ride and consequently left outside without a lock and am guilty of allowing it to be stolen. Sorry Sarah) so back to the bikes, they are all shaped similar to those littering the beaches of Florida retirement community, this is to say that they all have the lowered middle bar, curved handles, and long, slender fenders. Another standard option is the stylish and oh so attractive basket. They are a little feminine, but for some odd reason they are also a lot of fun. I once read an article in a magazine given to me by a co-worker that described the adventures of a freakin’ idiot that decided to ride his bike everywhere for a month. Of course it was a tale of fitness and fun! Or that was the yarn that the writer wanted to spin. I didn’t buy it. But then I came here. A land in which you have no choice whether or not you want to ride a bike. My often find my subconscious giving me little pep talks that sound similar to this dialogue, “Do you want to go somewhere? Well get your rear on your bike and peddle fatty.”
As one could guess the furniture in this country is quite similar to the people, places, and things: small. Before leaving the states I told many people that I was expecting to break many different things; such as chairs and other random objects. This was mostly as joke, but nonetheless, I thought that it would be inevitable. Up until now I have proven myself wrong and have left much of the furniture weakened, but not in pieces. Yeah for me. But I cannot say the same for bicycle tires; of which I have gone through two. Explanation: the first was on the bike that I inherited upon arrival. It was a fine bike, at least I am sure that it was quite a catch back in the late 70’s when it was in it’s prime. But by the time that I got to it she was creakin’ more than a geriatric jazzer-cizer bending over to put on her leotard. Not to mention the fact that the tires were as worn as my lovely friend and former co-worker’s knees after a weekend of playing “cops and robbers” with his long time friend and man in uniform.
Bottom line: the bike was old. I am dumb. I did not have a tire gauge and inflated the tires way too much so “pop” went the back tire. Not my fault; at least as far as I am concerned. Next week I purchased my own bicycle as I thought that it would make more sense then me paying to get the old piece of poo fixed.
So I picked out the nice baby blue one. It was the cheapest one and I thought that the color would assist in me being able to identify it in public more easily as I often forget where I parked my bike. No I am not always drunk, but there are a lot, and trust me I mean a lot, of bikes in this country.
And then there was the second tire. Okay, so this one may leave me with a little more guilt then the last. I was stupid and tried to jump up on some stairs with my new and smooth blue bike. Whoops. Not a good idea, I admit it. But here’s the kicker: I was given a ride early last Saturday in a truck, with bike in tow, to a place that would fix the ole girl up. When we arrived I noticed that I did not bring my bike key (all bikes in Japan have a really simple lock that is attached directly above the tire of choice, either front or back, that simply slips between the bike frame and in-between the spokes, thus limiting the movement of the tire. Think of what happens when you place a stick between the spokes of a person’s bike: it stops or at least ceases to be able to move. わかりますか？wakarimasuka-do you understand?).
My ride left after we were informed that it would take about 30 minutes to get the bike fixed. I was tired and feeling a little absent minded and said my goodbyes without a second thought. What could possibly be the problem? I was about to have my fairly new bike back in tip top shape in about 20 more minutes. Right? Oh yeah…I forgot the key.
After 30 minutes the bike was ready to go; but I wasn’t. Ho hum. Oh well. So I hoisted the completely working and just repaired bicycle over my shoulder and began my ten-minute walk back to my home.
As stated before I feel a little out of place at times. Especially when in public. Well this time things were a little different. This time people stared for a little longer and wondered a little harder, or so I am convinced. I really do wish that I could have spoken Japanese at this point and time in my journey; because I would have loved to tell each and every one of them, “I’m stealing this bike. You wouldn’t happen to have a saw or something like that would you?” How would they have responded? I think that they would have looked in their trunk for me; they really are so kind and submissive. But I could only imagine that many of the people who crossed my path began to think, “damn. I wish that I could speak English. I’d love to tell that idiot that he’s supposed to ride that thing not carry it. Poor guy. No wonder Bush got re-elected…”
Well I’ll have to be honest; I think that you got off lucky this time. I was going to go into detail about some of the food that I ate this weekend, as it was a little uncommon from the general experience that I have gotten while I’ve been here. But I am almost to three pages…oops, I mean four…and I honestly don’t think that many of you have the time or patience to read this much. But I will tell you that this past weekend I picked at the head of a squid covered in Mayonnaise. During the same treat I also ate an unidentified food-item, which I would like to remain unknown to be honest. You know that piece of the chicken, I think that it is the tale-bone or something like that, that is really rubbery but still semi-soft? You know the one; it’s chewy enough that you will keep it in your mouth for about 20 seconds before you spit it into your napkin and then cut into your piece of chicken at which point you notice that there is a whole chunk of semi-bone/cartilage like substance on your plate. Well I ate a whole bowl of something like that.
There was actually one point this weekend when I really wanted to take detailed notes of the shit that they eat here because you really wouldn’t believe it. If you have ever thought that seaweed, or kelp, was strange then you should try what is referred to as “devils tongue.” Half the time I can’t tell if a food item is animal, mineral, or human waste. Enough is enough. Have a good one and I hope that you have a nice day.
11.15.2004
11.12.2004
"How's the shitzu?" "Tastes like crap."
It has been a while my friends. Over this little sabbatical I can only hope that I have not lost both of my readers. Come on guys; don’t give up on me yet…
Well nothing to new to report. Life is fair here in J-Pan. I am currently learning the language and have stayed out of bad bar situations for some time now. Recently I have been thinking about what I could write that I have not discussed before. There’s been weird experiences, food troubles, geography, nature, activities…just about everything. But I haven’t talked about the women. Oh the women. These confusing beasts are even stranger then the semi-domesticated creatures of the fairer sex at home.
I shall explain: you see, the Japanese society is extremely sexist. Now this isn’t your regular little slap on the rump, you look good “toots” sexism; it is institutionalized and heavily social. You know how people in America usually now scoff at the idea that the color pink represents girl and that blue means…boy, that’s right (good job). Well I am pretty sure that there are many individuals my age in Japan that still believe such things. This is only really scratching the surface as well. In one of my conversation classes a student informed the class that they were going to be taking a survey on what people look for in a partner (romantic partner that is…you know, dating material). I then took her survey and made it the topic of the class; I was curious, what do these people look for that may be different then myself? Hmmmmm….Well, I then found out that they seem to look for many of the same qualities that we do; such as sense of humor, communication, etc. Not too different then what you or I may look for in someone to grow old with. But then they spoke up, they being the older women in the class (mid-40’s or younger), and informed all of the younger women that they had better quit thinking about things like that and instead just go for the money. Honestly, they said that the most important thing about love was that you marry someone with wealth. This definitely was not the style of gold-digging that I was used to seeing; they were extremely overt about their aims and honest in their reasoning. Which was that each of their husbands had changed after they got married and that they had to then rely on money for their subsequent happiness. Wow. Now you may think to yourself, “Dan you big ninny, what does this have to do with sexism?” Well my response to you would simply be, “Well what do you think that created and fed the beast that these women now are if not their sexist husbands?” Question with a question…I know, shut up. It’s just sexism. The women here are a lot like the bicycles: they are very useful, many used for a long time leaving the rider happy and fulfilled. Others go through many in one year and do not think twice about it. But the biggest similarity rests in the fact that both are looked at and used simply as necessary utilities. Sad isn’t it? Oh well Japanese men are ugly. Who cares if they only marry the monsters that they have created.
Oh wait, there is more on relationships. Some parts of Asia still use the old school of thought and believe that when one gets married they have to then buy a house that is big enough not only for them and their newly betrothed, but also for the husband’s parents (if he is the oldest in the family) or the wife (if she is the oldest of a family of only daughters). When this occurs, especially with men whose parents move in, the wife is placed at the bottom of the pecking order and is used only as maid to the parents with the mother in-law usually barking out orders and administrating the home front. This may not be a shock to many of you, but did you know that they still really eat dogs in China? Seriously, dogs man. And horses too. I haven’t asked about monkey brains yet…but I got a feeling that I am going to get a big, “hai” on that question. Now that’s shocking.
Bottom line: to those of you who thought that I was going to bring home a Japanese, or just any ole Asian, bride I say to all of you now, “fat chance.” I can’t stand the way that they think, let alone understand what they are saying. Plus I really don’t want to have to live with her parents if her mother is an evil old hag (funny anecdote: do you know why it is that so many Japanese old women wear hats? Because they have horns. Or at least that is what I was told. The punch line was then followed up with the explanation that this is because “they are evil…like devils or snakes”). Ha. Crazy eastern mythology…So, rest assured mom, I’ll stick with women that you can berate in English. Ha.
Ps: they do have Chinese food in Japan, no dog though.
Well nothing to new to report. Life is fair here in J-Pan. I am currently learning the language and have stayed out of bad bar situations for some time now. Recently I have been thinking about what I could write that I have not discussed before. There’s been weird experiences, food troubles, geography, nature, activities…just about everything. But I haven’t talked about the women. Oh the women. These confusing beasts are even stranger then the semi-domesticated creatures of the fairer sex at home.
I shall explain: you see, the Japanese society is extremely sexist. Now this isn’t your regular little slap on the rump, you look good “toots” sexism; it is institutionalized and heavily social. You know how people in America usually now scoff at the idea that the color pink represents girl and that blue means…boy, that’s right (good job). Well I am pretty sure that there are many individuals my age in Japan that still believe such things. This is only really scratching the surface as well. In one of my conversation classes a student informed the class that they were going to be taking a survey on what people look for in a partner (romantic partner that is…you know, dating material). I then took her survey and made it the topic of the class; I was curious, what do these people look for that may be different then myself? Hmmmmm….Well, I then found out that they seem to look for many of the same qualities that we do; such as sense of humor, communication, etc. Not too different then what you or I may look for in someone to grow old with. But then they spoke up, they being the older women in the class (mid-40’s or younger), and informed all of the younger women that they had better quit thinking about things like that and instead just go for the money. Honestly, they said that the most important thing about love was that you marry someone with wealth. This definitely was not the style of gold-digging that I was used to seeing; they were extremely overt about their aims and honest in their reasoning. Which was that each of their husbands had changed after they got married and that they had to then rely on money for their subsequent happiness. Wow. Now you may think to yourself, “Dan you big ninny, what does this have to do with sexism?” Well my response to you would simply be, “Well what do you think that created and fed the beast that these women now are if not their sexist husbands?” Question with a question…I know, shut up. It’s just sexism. The women here are a lot like the bicycles: they are very useful, many used for a long time leaving the rider happy and fulfilled. Others go through many in one year and do not think twice about it. But the biggest similarity rests in the fact that both are looked at and used simply as necessary utilities. Sad isn’t it? Oh well Japanese men are ugly. Who cares if they only marry the monsters that they have created.
Oh wait, there is more on relationships. Some parts of Asia still use the old school of thought and believe that when one gets married they have to then buy a house that is big enough not only for them and their newly betrothed, but also for the husband’s parents (if he is the oldest in the family) or the wife (if she is the oldest of a family of only daughters). When this occurs, especially with men whose parents move in, the wife is placed at the bottom of the pecking order and is used only as maid to the parents with the mother in-law usually barking out orders and administrating the home front. This may not be a shock to many of you, but did you know that they still really eat dogs in China? Seriously, dogs man. And horses too. I haven’t asked about monkey brains yet…but I got a feeling that I am going to get a big, “hai” on that question. Now that’s shocking.
Bottom line: to those of you who thought that I was going to bring home a Japanese, or just any ole Asian, bride I say to all of you now, “fat chance.” I can’t stand the way that they think, let alone understand what they are saying. Plus I really don’t want to have to live with her parents if her mother is an evil old hag (funny anecdote: do you know why it is that so many Japanese old women wear hats? Because they have horns. Or at least that is what I was told. The punch line was then followed up with the explanation that this is because “they are evil…like devils or snakes”). Ha. Crazy eastern mythology…So, rest assured mom, I’ll stick with women that you can berate in English. Ha.
Ps: they do have Chinese food in Japan, no dog though.
11.04.2004
Kind of like Kishwaulkee, but a little higher Altitude
I would like to begin by thanking everyone for caring so greatly about yours truly.
Beauties never thought Possible...
Well, I have seen what I thought was only made for the movies in Japan. The countryside. This week has been pretty kind to me. I didn’t have to work the past few days (as we were having a campus festival, and all of the teachers were given some time off). Therefore I thought that it would be good to get out of town.
Heading out for the second time by myself I didn’t know exactly what it was that I wanted to do or where I was going to go. Then it dawned on me that I hadn’t been anywhere yet where the trees were taller than the buildings; so I headed out to the mountain, Mt. Rokko.
After navigating my way through the city and onto the train I was headed out towards the mountain; which was easy, they stick out a bit. I then found a bus and through the few words that I do know I found someone going to the top.
Now the tough part; how do I describe this? I have been in an area that is constantly surrounded by buildings, cars, bikes, businesses, people, and so many other things that provide elements for headaches that to see or experience something different was to experience Japan again for the first time. It was beautiful.
The bus drove up the steep hills cut into the side of the mountain so slowly that I didn’t know whether to gasp for breath because of the height and it’s consequent fear or because of the sight of the area I was slowly escaping. It was amazing.
When I reached the conservation center at the top I immediately began to wander. Eventually I found a path and set out taking pictures, about three rolls within an hour…a little overkill maybe, but I was happy. After walking around in the bright sunlight I began to realize that I this was a first, I hadn’t seen or heard someone for about an hour…weird. It was nice, but it had to end.
Wandering and than turning back around to go home I experienced a little rejuvenation. Japan ain’t so bad.
Kyoto
Still having time off a new day dawned; today it was off to Kyoto. Kyoto was one of the only cities saved from the attacks upon Japan during world war two; therefore it is a little more traditional than the area that I live in now. We were all set to go and see the golden palace, once a playground of the Emperor, it is now a bit of a temple and a bit of a tourist attraction. It was quite an astounding place. Painted all gold and stuff…but there were too many people. But it was cool to see some of the more traditional architecture and ornaments.
Then it was off to the movieland…woo hoo! Okay, so have you ever seen those horrible samurai movies that they sometimes show on late-night tv? You know, the ones that are all dubbed over and have those horrible bad-guys or maybe even monsters? Or have you at least seen “Big Trouble in Little China Town,” starring Kurt Russell? Because if you haven’t then you must go and rent it. Well anyway, I went to one of the places that they keep some of the sets and props from such blockbuster films. Imagine universal studios in the 1980’s, because that’s about what it was. No startling visual effects or amazing feats here…just robotic dragon heads popping out from behind fake hills and mountains while scary water flowed faster.
The highlight had to be when we waited in line for about 20 minutes to enjoy one of the main “attractions.” It was an exciting ride called, “To the Office.” After sitting in a chair made for someone slightly smaller than I the lights went out and the screen came up, it was off to work for me. After skiing down a mountain, taking a boat ride, and then jumping onto a motorcycle (all of which felt the same thanks to the chair) I finally made it to work. How exciting. But then I found out that I worked with the 7 God’s of…something (past actors from this amazing movie house). Oh what fun! It was totally lame…dude.
So, after walking around a little bit more my companions and I began to wonder why it was that we had paid the \2,200 to get into here. Then we remembered the words of the cabbie who asked if we were going to try the haunted house, which cost an extra \500. Would it be as “great” as the last ride? Who knows? We sure didn’t and weren’t sure if we wanted to pay anymore money for some lame stuff. But then again, we were curious. Needless to say it was one of the best and most frightening things I have experienced, outside of the man in the ape mask from Halloween. There were fake, or so I thought, dead bodies everywhere; along with some people in costume hiding and waiting to make me wet my pants. And did you ever see The Ring? Because I am pretty sure that the girl from the video lives in that haunted house. One of the best parts: we are walking along with me leading when we turn a corner and see another figure with extremely long matted hair standing in front of me, I think to myself “she is so alive,” just as someone asks, “is she alive?” and another responds, “no she is fake, it’s okay, really, we are almost done.” Well, he was wrong and he did a good job of losing someone’s confidence that day as the long-haired kimono wearing woman jumped on top of the scared girls in the middle making them collapse to floor crying. Ha. What a blast.
So the cost was made up and things were alright.
We then headed out for a nice dinner and ended up in a Tijuana-Prison-like hell at a place called “Mexican,” there may have been more, but this was the English translation offered on the sign. The food contained far too much egg and not enough beans and the tacos tasted like rump-roast (without the tasty carrots and potatoes). It was interesting to say the least; and then he started singing. His singing was like karaoke as suicide is to murder. Ouch, my ears still hurt. But at least he was taking requests; but he wanted money for them. “Please, here, have my money and make me sick.” It’s not like I was trying to get out of gym class by coming here (you get it, sickness, gym class…).
Well, I’ve talked enough. If I save up my money maybe I will get the pictures developed from the past few days and try to learn how to scan and post them. No promises; If I do get them scanned, and you are interested in some pictures, then please e-mail me. Peace love and happiness.
Beauties never thought Possible...
Well, I have seen what I thought was only made for the movies in Japan. The countryside. This week has been pretty kind to me. I didn’t have to work the past few days (as we were having a campus festival, and all of the teachers were given some time off). Therefore I thought that it would be good to get out of town.
Heading out for the second time by myself I didn’t know exactly what it was that I wanted to do or where I was going to go. Then it dawned on me that I hadn’t been anywhere yet where the trees were taller than the buildings; so I headed out to the mountain, Mt. Rokko.
After navigating my way through the city and onto the train I was headed out towards the mountain; which was easy, they stick out a bit. I then found a bus and through the few words that I do know I found someone going to the top.
Now the tough part; how do I describe this? I have been in an area that is constantly surrounded by buildings, cars, bikes, businesses, people, and so many other things that provide elements for headaches that to see or experience something different was to experience Japan again for the first time. It was beautiful.
The bus drove up the steep hills cut into the side of the mountain so slowly that I didn’t know whether to gasp for breath because of the height and it’s consequent fear or because of the sight of the area I was slowly escaping. It was amazing.
When I reached the conservation center at the top I immediately began to wander. Eventually I found a path and set out taking pictures, about three rolls within an hour…a little overkill maybe, but I was happy. After walking around in the bright sunlight I began to realize that I this was a first, I hadn’t seen or heard someone for about an hour…weird. It was nice, but it had to end.
Wandering and than turning back around to go home I experienced a little rejuvenation. Japan ain’t so bad.
Kyoto
Still having time off a new day dawned; today it was off to Kyoto. Kyoto was one of the only cities saved from the attacks upon Japan during world war two; therefore it is a little more traditional than the area that I live in now. We were all set to go and see the golden palace, once a playground of the Emperor, it is now a bit of a temple and a bit of a tourist attraction. It was quite an astounding place. Painted all gold and stuff…but there were too many people. But it was cool to see some of the more traditional architecture and ornaments.
Then it was off to the movieland…woo hoo! Okay, so have you ever seen those horrible samurai movies that they sometimes show on late-night tv? You know, the ones that are all dubbed over and have those horrible bad-guys or maybe even monsters? Or have you at least seen “Big Trouble in Little China Town,” starring Kurt Russell? Because if you haven’t then you must go and rent it. Well anyway, I went to one of the places that they keep some of the sets and props from such blockbuster films. Imagine universal studios in the 1980’s, because that’s about what it was. No startling visual effects or amazing feats here…just robotic dragon heads popping out from behind fake hills and mountains while scary water flowed faster.
The highlight had to be when we waited in line for about 20 minutes to enjoy one of the main “attractions.” It was an exciting ride called, “To the Office.” After sitting in a chair made for someone slightly smaller than I the lights went out and the screen came up, it was off to work for me. After skiing down a mountain, taking a boat ride, and then jumping onto a motorcycle (all of which felt the same thanks to the chair) I finally made it to work. How exciting. But then I found out that I worked with the 7 God’s of…something (past actors from this amazing movie house). Oh what fun! It was totally lame…dude.
So, after walking around a little bit more my companions and I began to wonder why it was that we had paid the \2,200 to get into here. Then we remembered the words of the cabbie who asked if we were going to try the haunted house, which cost an extra \500. Would it be as “great” as the last ride? Who knows? We sure didn’t and weren’t sure if we wanted to pay anymore money for some lame stuff. But then again, we were curious. Needless to say it was one of the best and most frightening things I have experienced, outside of the man in the ape mask from Halloween. There were fake, or so I thought, dead bodies everywhere; along with some people in costume hiding and waiting to make me wet my pants. And did you ever see The Ring? Because I am pretty sure that the girl from the video lives in that haunted house. One of the best parts: we are walking along with me leading when we turn a corner and see another figure with extremely long matted hair standing in front of me, I think to myself “she is so alive,” just as someone asks, “is she alive?” and another responds, “no she is fake, it’s okay, really, we are almost done.” Well, he was wrong and he did a good job of losing someone’s confidence that day as the long-haired kimono wearing woman jumped on top of the scared girls in the middle making them collapse to floor crying. Ha. What a blast.
So the cost was made up and things were alright.
We then headed out for a nice dinner and ended up in a Tijuana-Prison-like hell at a place called “Mexican,” there may have been more, but this was the English translation offered on the sign. The food contained far too much egg and not enough beans and the tacos tasted like rump-roast (without the tasty carrots and potatoes). It was interesting to say the least; and then he started singing. His singing was like karaoke as suicide is to murder. Ouch, my ears still hurt. But at least he was taking requests; but he wanted money for them. “Please, here, have my money and make me sick.” It’s not like I was trying to get out of gym class by coming here (you get it, sickness, gym class…).
Well, I’ve talked enough. If I save up my money maybe I will get the pictures developed from the past few days and try to learn how to scan and post them. No promises; If I do get them scanned, and you are interested in some pictures, then please e-mail me. Peace love and happiness.
All I have to say about that...
The cover of the novel Timequake reads, “At 2:27 p.m. on February 13th of the year 2001, the Universe suffered a crisis in self-confidence. Should it go on expanding indefinitely? What was the point.” I think that Mr. Vonnegut missed the time reference by a bit, it was supposed to read, “At 10:57 a.m. on November 3rd of the year 2004, the Universe (especially the planet Earth) suffered a crisis in self-confidence. Should it go on expanding indefinitely? Or will Bush simply make it all implode? What’s the point of caring anymore.”
I am not happy. I am not entirely sad. I am apathetic. I am America. Or at least the America that I think I know, living 6,000 miles away. How could this have happened? What was it that just didn’t settle the stomachs of the United States within Kerry’s platforms? Economics? No, I don’t think that people felt too confident with Bush’s economics either (insightful note, this quote was taken off of a website this morning: “Cheers erupted on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange as Kerry conceded and U.S. stocks rallied. The Standard & Poor's 500 Index climbed 1.4 percent, with all 24 of its industry groups advancing. U.S. Treasury notes fell; Bush's tax cuts have contributed to a record budget deficit that will force the government to increase borrowing, investors said.” I’m in debt and I know that it’s bad; take it from me, U.S. Government, you may want it now, but you just wait for the bill to come in the mail.)
Was it terrorism and the war? I thought that most agreed that Kerry had served well and that he wasn’t one who flip-flopped his positions just for a solid career foundation. What was it then?
What’s that, you want my opinion. Well, I have to agree with the staff of CNNJ (international version of CNN) that it was morals that cost Kerry is seat in the big house. It was the simple fact that America rallied behind the new crusader. Why wouldn’t we? He is the one that is against the evil Muslims in the Middle East, the beacon of light shining against social disasters like abortion and homosexuality. Hasn’t he? How is it that such things are even involved within the realm of politics? Why do such topics as a constitutional amendment against same-sex marriage have to appear on 11 state ballots? States that, by the way, are known to be extremely far-right and have traditionally voted republican? The most conservative state being Oregon and the rest being in the south; who would have thought that states like Kentucky and Georgia would have been against such things? But whatever you do, don’t ask Massachusetts or California. Why are these issues even on the ballot? Why waste the time, effort, money, and various other amenities to even ask, let alone count, such an arbitrary question within American life.
Government, to me, was established to assist in the development of society, not control it. I may have to consult my mom, but I am pretty sure that the lines of the preamble to our constitution read, “We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquillity, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.” Break it down: Justice, domestic Tranquility, defense, general welfare, and securing a solid future. Where on God’s green earth does same-sex marriage or stem cell research fit into this equation? If you want to focus on moral issues focus on the poor, homeless, and abused within this country. Are they to suffer in the background while easily persecuted social/religious topics are flaunted in the front?
President Bush loves Jesus. As do I. But where and when was it that God told Mr. Bush that he needed to assume the highest level of power within our country, possibly the world, and continually exploit it and the people that looked up to him? He has made a sham of democracy through his use of non-issues and lies. The last few weeks I continually saw characters speak about the idea of fear; this fear was toward terrorists, not god. People today are ready to support a man that they think adheres to a higher calling, but they are afraid to look for a man that may be open to a higher power. President Bush’s actions have been anything but Christian. He has persecuted, he has lied, he has acted in vain, and he has not reached out to those in need. He, to me, is reminiscent of the Vikings of old; they raped, pillaged, and plundered for hundreds of years. But look at them now. People love ‘em; even named a sports team after them. I’m sure that in four, eight, ten, or maybe even a hundred years some people will still like George Bush Jr.; but for now, I think that I would rather contemplate whether or not I should just keep on going. What’s the point? While writing a pop-up advertisement asked if I wanted to purchase flood insurance. Maybe I should. Something has to come along soon to clean up this mess. Let me aboard Noah; I’m just one of the animals occupying this space too.
I am not happy. I am not entirely sad. I am apathetic. I am America. Or at least the America that I think I know, living 6,000 miles away. How could this have happened? What was it that just didn’t settle the stomachs of the United States within Kerry’s platforms? Economics? No, I don’t think that people felt too confident with Bush’s economics either (insightful note, this quote was taken off of a website this morning: “Cheers erupted on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange as Kerry conceded and U.S. stocks rallied. The Standard & Poor's 500 Index climbed 1.4 percent, with all 24 of its industry groups advancing. U.S. Treasury notes fell; Bush's tax cuts have contributed to a record budget deficit that will force the government to increase borrowing, investors said.” I’m in debt and I know that it’s bad; take it from me, U.S. Government, you may want it now, but you just wait for the bill to come in the mail.)
Was it terrorism and the war? I thought that most agreed that Kerry had served well and that he wasn’t one who flip-flopped his positions just for a solid career foundation. What was it then?
What’s that, you want my opinion. Well, I have to agree with the staff of CNNJ (international version of CNN) that it was morals that cost Kerry is seat in the big house. It was the simple fact that America rallied behind the new crusader. Why wouldn’t we? He is the one that is against the evil Muslims in the Middle East, the beacon of light shining against social disasters like abortion and homosexuality. Hasn’t he? How is it that such things are even involved within the realm of politics? Why do such topics as a constitutional amendment against same-sex marriage have to appear on 11 state ballots? States that, by the way, are known to be extremely far-right and have traditionally voted republican? The most conservative state being Oregon and the rest being in the south; who would have thought that states like Kentucky and Georgia would have been against such things? But whatever you do, don’t ask Massachusetts or California. Why are these issues even on the ballot? Why waste the time, effort, money, and various other amenities to even ask, let alone count, such an arbitrary question within American life.
Government, to me, was established to assist in the development of society, not control it. I may have to consult my mom, but I am pretty sure that the lines of the preamble to our constitution read, “We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquillity, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.” Break it down: Justice, domestic Tranquility, defense, general welfare, and securing a solid future. Where on God’s green earth does same-sex marriage or stem cell research fit into this equation? If you want to focus on moral issues focus on the poor, homeless, and abused within this country. Are they to suffer in the background while easily persecuted social/religious topics are flaunted in the front?
President Bush loves Jesus. As do I. But where and when was it that God told Mr. Bush that he needed to assume the highest level of power within our country, possibly the world, and continually exploit it and the people that looked up to him? He has made a sham of democracy through his use of non-issues and lies. The last few weeks I continually saw characters speak about the idea of fear; this fear was toward terrorists, not god. People today are ready to support a man that they think adheres to a higher calling, but they are afraid to look for a man that may be open to a higher power. President Bush’s actions have been anything but Christian. He has persecuted, he has lied, he has acted in vain, and he has not reached out to those in need. He, to me, is reminiscent of the Vikings of old; they raped, pillaged, and plundered for hundreds of years. But look at them now. People love ‘em; even named a sports team after them. I’m sure that in four, eight, ten, or maybe even a hundred years some people will still like George Bush Jr.; but for now, I think that I would rather contemplate whether or not I should just keep on going. What’s the point? While writing a pop-up advertisement asked if I wanted to purchase flood insurance. Maybe I should. Something has to come along soon to clean up this mess. Let me aboard Noah; I’m just one of the animals occupying this space too.
11.02.2004
Happy Halloweend Kansai, or There but for the grace of God go I.
Have you ever had one of those life-altering experiences that really makes you sit back and think about the course of life? For some it may be drug induced, or perhaps it came as a near death experience. Well for me it was Halloween.
Before the weekend was here I knew that I was going to go out, and I knew that it was going to be quite the experience. The last train runs at about 12:30, which is no time to return from a night on the town. But then again the first train doesn’t come until about 5:30 or so in the morning. What would you do? It was going to be a long one.
The evening started at about 4pm when I first woke up (the night before was my first Karaoke experience…whoa, whole new world, and I’m not talking about the wonderful song from Disney’s Aladdin…maybe another time I will discuss this wonder, but for now, it’s Halloween and epiphany time).
Okay, where was I; Halloween, just got up at 4pm, and I needed a costume. Now since I am a large human being I knew that I could not go the most popular Japanese route which was to pick up a nicely packaged costume at some gijin store and throw it on. So I had to use a little thought. So, with very little thought I decided that I would obviously take the easy way out and just tie a couple of sheets around myself and viola, presto, change-o, TOGA! Woo-Hoo; instant linen party. So I was a Greek god for Halloween, or if you are an American, I was an American God, John Belushi.
Then it was out we went. Andres and I were to meet a few of our friends that work here at Eichi as well as a few of Andres’s former students. Upon meeting them at the Osaka station I thought that we would slowly fall into our costumes with the help of a few drinks; but no. Diasuke, Andres’s buddy, thought that we should just change right there at the station and walk around all of Osaka dressed as idiots. * Side note: I get stared at all of the time for looking out of place (I have even been called impure and pointed at because I was not Japanese). Why then would I decide that maybe it would be all right if I dressed like an idiot and walked around the second largest metropolitan area in Japan, fourth in the world, and said to the entire Japanese people, “not only did I vote for Bush last election but I am now uprooting the foundations of your culture with holidays like this?”
Because it was Halloween of course.
In order to best celebrate the American tradition we engaged in a wonderful traditional American meal at this quaint little restaurant called, “Outback steakhouse.” Heard of it? This is a wonderful place because it truly torments most native people. Why? Because it has Australian crap all over the walls, including a huge crocodile, but it’s an American Steakhouse. Oh the confusion! But we did get a free drink…yum yum.
Okay, quick time.
Eat.
Drink.
Ate.
Drunk.
Okay, now we are at a disco and it is time to take in the other idiots in costume. We had pimps, and drag-queens, and cowboys, oh my! There were even people in paisley bodysuits (I don’t know what to say or think about this style of costume. It was like the blue man suit, but in any color/design that you could imagine). But the best costume had to go to the person that looked the best.
They walked into the nightclub like they were walking into a…I don’t know. This person was very confused. They came dressed in tights, underwear (woman’s underoos), with a bra, and a monkey mask. I might add that the individual must have worked out because it’s female proportions were nicely accented. You know, well-defined abs, biceps, and shapely legs…oh wait, those are no female proportions’, it’s a man. Did I mention that Japanese men do not seem to have very much body hair? Or that they have very effeminate characteristics? Because they do. Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.
Quick time again.
Drink.
Sit.
Drunk.
Dancing.
The Japanese are not as bad at dancing as I thought they would have been. They really like the break dancing and, “You’ve Been Served (Right Title?)” seems very big here.
Well, it is time to be honest. I don’t remember too much past this point. I kind of fell off the planet. The few things that I do remember (the colored pencils for you to make your own sketch if you will):
l Being guided around by a kind friend of Diasuke who was dressed like a Priest
l Paying some street musicians \1,000 to play a song that I knew. They ended up with Norwegian Wood by the beatles.
l Getting people to partake in the vodka that I had been carrying around with me in my Nalgene bottles. Selling point: “Look, it’s okay, I can drink it…”
l Breaking open a bottle of Bailey’s on the curb because the darn thing wouldn’t open on it’s own accord. Twist tops can be so stubborn.
l Hitting the street a few times with my head…much like a bouncy ball.
I think that’s enough color for you to draw to your hearts content.
I awoke cold and alone (which is good) in my room at about 6pm the next night. I then spent the rest of the day, what little was left, contemplating my own existence (only natural I think). And I have offered up my penance, and I know I am forgiven. I hurt no one but myself. So, do not be worried, but instead do what I couldn’t do. Laugh your ass off. I would join you, but I think that I fell on a bicycle rack and bruised my rear, and it hurts when I chuckle. Te he…ow.
Happy Halloween.
Before the weekend was here I knew that I was going to go out, and I knew that it was going to be quite the experience. The last train runs at about 12:30, which is no time to return from a night on the town. But then again the first train doesn’t come until about 5:30 or so in the morning. What would you do? It was going to be a long one.
The evening started at about 4pm when I first woke up (the night before was my first Karaoke experience…whoa, whole new world, and I’m not talking about the wonderful song from Disney’s Aladdin…maybe another time I will discuss this wonder, but for now, it’s Halloween and epiphany time).
Okay, where was I; Halloween, just got up at 4pm, and I needed a costume. Now since I am a large human being I knew that I could not go the most popular Japanese route which was to pick up a nicely packaged costume at some gijin store and throw it on. So I had to use a little thought. So, with very little thought I decided that I would obviously take the easy way out and just tie a couple of sheets around myself and viola, presto, change-o, TOGA! Woo-Hoo; instant linen party. So I was a Greek god for Halloween, or if you are an American, I was an American God, John Belushi.
Then it was out we went. Andres and I were to meet a few of our friends that work here at Eichi as well as a few of Andres’s former students. Upon meeting them at the Osaka station I thought that we would slowly fall into our costumes with the help of a few drinks; but no. Diasuke, Andres’s buddy, thought that we should just change right there at the station and walk around all of Osaka dressed as idiots. * Side note: I get stared at all of the time for looking out of place (I have even been called impure and pointed at because I was not Japanese). Why then would I decide that maybe it would be all right if I dressed like an idiot and walked around the second largest metropolitan area in Japan, fourth in the world, and said to the entire Japanese people, “not only did I vote for Bush last election but I am now uprooting the foundations of your culture with holidays like this?”
Because it was Halloween of course.
In order to best celebrate the American tradition we engaged in a wonderful traditional American meal at this quaint little restaurant called, “Outback steakhouse.” Heard of it? This is a wonderful place because it truly torments most native people. Why? Because it has Australian crap all over the walls, including a huge crocodile, but it’s an American Steakhouse. Oh the confusion! But we did get a free drink…yum yum.
Okay, quick time.
Eat.
Drink.
Ate.
Drunk.
Okay, now we are at a disco and it is time to take in the other idiots in costume. We had pimps, and drag-queens, and cowboys, oh my! There were even people in paisley bodysuits (I don’t know what to say or think about this style of costume. It was like the blue man suit, but in any color/design that you could imagine). But the best costume had to go to the person that looked the best.
They walked into the nightclub like they were walking into a…I don’t know. This person was very confused. They came dressed in tights, underwear (woman’s underoos), with a bra, and a monkey mask. I might add that the individual must have worked out because it’s female proportions were nicely accented. You know, well-defined abs, biceps, and shapely legs…oh wait, those are no female proportions’, it’s a man. Did I mention that Japanese men do not seem to have very much body hair? Or that they have very effeminate characteristics? Because they do. Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.
Quick time again.
Drink.
Sit.
Drunk.
Dancing.
The Japanese are not as bad at dancing as I thought they would have been. They really like the break dancing and, “You’ve Been Served (Right Title?)” seems very big here.
Well, it is time to be honest. I don’t remember too much past this point. I kind of fell off the planet. The few things that I do remember (the colored pencils for you to make your own sketch if you will):
l Being guided around by a kind friend of Diasuke who was dressed like a Priest
l Paying some street musicians \1,000 to play a song that I knew. They ended up with Norwegian Wood by the beatles.
l Getting people to partake in the vodka that I had been carrying around with me in my Nalgene bottles. Selling point: “Look, it’s okay, I can drink it…”
l Breaking open a bottle of Bailey’s on the curb because the darn thing wouldn’t open on it’s own accord. Twist tops can be so stubborn.
l Hitting the street a few times with my head…much like a bouncy ball.
I think that’s enough color for you to draw to your hearts content.
I awoke cold and alone (which is good) in my room at about 6pm the next night. I then spent the rest of the day, what little was left, contemplating my own existence (only natural I think). And I have offered up my penance, and I know I am forgiven. I hurt no one but myself. So, do not be worried, but instead do what I couldn’t do. Laugh your ass off. I would join you, but I think that I fell on a bicycle rack and bruised my rear, and it hurts when I chuckle. Te he…ow.
Happy Halloween.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
